By: Dr. Lisa Matthews

         On the night of December 4^th, 1996 at approximately 10:30pm, I was awakened by frantic knocks on the front door of our home.  I opened the door to my mother, who appeared to be frazzled and extremely confused. She informed me that my father did not pick her up from work that evening. This behavior was very unusual for my father. I went to bed around 9:00pm that night and told her that Daddy was in their bedroom when I fell asleep. We walked towards my parents’ bedroom door, turned on the light and discovered my father, laying face down on the floor. He did not have a pulse, but his body was still warm indicating he had not been dead for too long. Immediately, I began losing my breath. All I heard were screams, sirens, and sobbing. Then, I watched the man I loved more than anyone besides God being taken away from me…his body was lifeless. I was 15 years old and my heart still aches for my dad who was my hero. Yet, my goal is to celebrate his life and highlight the tremendous impact a father’s love can have on his daughter.

            We are all too familiar with the staggering statistics. Today, nearly 70% of African-American births are to unmarried mothers[1] . As a result of the increasing rise of being born outside of marriage or having divorced parents, growing up with a single parent has emerged as a common theme in American culture.[2]. Instead of focusing on dismal statistics, I have chosen to praise the dedicated, loving, intelligent, and hardworking African-American fathers who not only support their daughters spiritually and emotionally, but, as in my instance, also become their greatest role models. Unfortunately, these outstanding fathers are often overshadowed by pessimistic statistics. Even researchers have noted that scholars typically view African-American families from a “deficit perspective” that emphasizes problems and pathology. In truth however, many African-Americans experience well-functioning and successful family units, yet very little research exists on positive marriages, satisfaction, happiness, and the love that African-American families posses.

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            One of God’s greatest gifts was the unconditional love my father bestowed upon my life. Even though my father has been gone in the flesh for 14 years, I continue to seek his direction.  I look to my dad for guidance and we still have our long conversations. He continues to make me smile. The influence my father has placed upon my life surpasses that of any other human being. Just the thought of being a daddy’s girl is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. Little girls and grown women, alike, need their fathers. I am blessed because I had a father who was my protector and my provider. I truly believe there is no greater love. I salute the fathers who are raising little girls. So fathers, I urge you to never forget how critical you are in your daughters’ lives and I guarantee your daughters will never forget you. I have not forgotten mine.